Writings of Mass Deduction

I didn’t really understand this game at first, until I tripped across a review that described it as a training tool for punishing platformers. Suddenly “Death Closet” made perfect sense to me: it can be approached as a charming (if repetitive) game, or you could use it as a training tool for tackling the next Aban Hawkins (or similar) title. This isn’t a new idea, training tools for fighting games, first person shooters, RTSs, and more have been developed. So why not punishers?

The game has a sadistic kind of charm for me as you jump and dodge an unending assault from all sides. I think this title actually could make you better at navigating through the next super-hard platformer (at which there have been a long string of good ones on Xbox Live Indie Games), and possibly enjoy those games more as a result. I think Stegersaurus (the “Lots of Guns”, “Tank Strike”, “Mega Monster Mania”, “This is Hard”, “Baby Maker Extreme 2”, and “Battle Beat” people) are on to something here.

“Death Closet” makes an effort to keep throwing new things at you. And while the music has a more modern vibe, I think the sound effects are strongly reminiscent of things I heard 30 years ago on my Mattel Intellivision (if not actually sampled from Intellivision games; your death sound reminds me so strongly of the explosion sounds from Night Stalker that I’d believe you if you told me it was a direct copy). There isn’t much in the way of options, and there’s no story to speak of, but there is some personality injected in the (sometimes hilarious) expressions of your poor, suffering character. Definitely worth a download for those not easily frustrated, or who hope to get themselves to a point where they won’t be. 80 Microsoft Points.

And if you haven’t played “Battle Beat”, then I implore you to go do so now.

Here’s what the developer (Stegersaurus Games) has to say about the game:

“Can you survive the onslaught? Are you the king of platformers or is the challenge just impossible for you? Download and find out!”